We all have many sides to ourselves. There are sides of happiness and anger. Sometimes we are goofy and other times we are dead serious. And it is also okay to have these sides, and many more. The personality that you would show your kids or your spouse would most likely be different than the individual your coworkers or management might see in you. So it’s not a wrong question to ask the person in the mirror, what personality traits are you showing others?
The way we handle ourselves around others is essential. Quite often whether or not we get a gig or a position depends on whether or not the person making that choice can see that we can do what they need to be done, and the way they want it done. And what they see in you depends on what you have shown them.
You don’t have to be deadpan serious all the time, nor do you have to march around making squared corners that your drill Sgt. would be proud to see. Be yourself, and at the same time, follow the lead of those you are trying to impress. Staying a little bit more formal is normal. You want to appear relaxed when speaking with others. Show that you take them seriously. And a little humor is good. Let them tell the joke, and you smile.
You do not have to have the last word on everything. The best talks are remembered when somebody leaves the other person interested and possibly wanting to speak more at a future date. The other thing to remember is to keep formal talks positive, short, and to the point. Conversations are often remembered. Would you prefer to be remembered for being a knowledgeable person of a few words? Or, do you really want to be remembered as the person who told them everything about everything including the VIN number of your car? In these cases, less is really more (favorable.)
You want to relax when you’re speaking with others. If you’re not sure what to say, remember that everybody likes a compliment. A positive statement goes further than a negative comment. And although you’re hoping they do something good for you like hiring you, you are also doing something good for them. You are showing them what you can do and how you can do it. And you are doing so while understanding their need to use time wisely.
This is another item that you can’t just take my word on. You have to get out there and try it. If you’re nervous or scared to go up and talk with others, start slow with someone you know. And then push yourself to speak with someone new once a day.
Fear is usually caused by something unknown. The more you know about something, or the more often you are in a position to act and take affirmative action, the less fearful the task becomes. The more you know, the less there is to fear, and the only way to understand something is to go out and do that thing.
Thanks for being with me today. I hope to be with you again tomorrow.